Without a Crystal Ball

Our Journey through Chronic Illness & Autism

1…2…3….4….4….4…4…4..4..4

Shakes my arm, why is this thing getting stuck. I just went on a walk and it says I took no steps. Why did it get stuck? I slap it, I hit it, I take it off and then I put it back on.

5, 6, 7….

Grr. Those steps aren’t THERE! Fitbit, I’m breaking up with you.

It’s not me – it’s YOU! I can’t continue to be a slave to this tiny little contraption that sits on my arm. It dictates and takes over every aspect of my life. I understand Fitbit you care about my health. You want me to hit my 10,000 steps, burn my 2184 calories, and reach my 5 miles. The problem with you, is that you are fundamentally flawed in so many ways. Please tell me first, why is it that you are worn on my wrist – when I step with my feet? How is it with no actually heart monitor or statistical information about my body you know how many calories I will burn? Why is it if I don’t swing my arm you don’t count my steps? When I just took that walk, I pushed my son in a stroller up hill after hill. You said I had no steps. Now I sit here feeling like an utter failure. But you are a mind fuck, Fitbit. I know I just got my butt kicked – literally – and now you have emotionally abused me by telling me none of my steps actually count. Don’t you see how utterly awful that is?!

Oh and don’t forget fitbit, that when I go to the Grocery store or run any sort of errands with my child, I can’t even consider using 2 hands to push a cart. I have to walk around feeling incredibly awkward and push a super heavy at COSTCO with one hand – just so you will count my damn steps. Do you see what you are doing to me? You have turned a logical person illogical. You are making my every day tasks harder just to count my damn steps. Steps I am taking either way – but because you sit on my WRIST – I must swing my arm.

Also Mr. Fitbit, you do realize that steps are just one aspect of daily health. Yet, your constant flashing, reminding and poking me to move – simply have me walking. You do not care if I actually get cardio, raise my heart beat or push myself physically. All you do is want me to move. Moving isn’t going to get me great muscle tone. But forget it if I want to actually lift weights and get some actual exercise – you won’t count it because I’ll be stationary. So while I’m doing my best to actually be more fit – I still feel like I’m a failure because my steps aren’t where YOU need them to be.

I had a trainer tell me once – if walking made everyone fit – more people would be FIT. Walking doesn’t increase lean muscle tone, it doesn’t promote high levels of calorie burning, and it doesn’t increase your heart rate. It just means you are moving. Now I don’t discount you Fitbit. I know you mean well. But you have this whole country on a walking craze when we have forgotten that fitness is a combination of cardio, strength training and diet combined. It’s like you have us all brainwashed to think we need to make all these steps and magically our health will improve. I need to tell you Fitbit. I actually haven’t lost weight because of you and I haven’t become more fit. I have actually become more fatigued, and I have turned in a person that walks laps in my living room so I hit my step goal. Sometimes I even pace up and down my stairs – so I can get the flights you want me to hit.

Now let’s talk about your badges and challenges. First off, they just don’t mean a thing. Because well they aren’t tangible. If you are going to award me, please mail me the damn ribbon. I don’t need a list of virtual “badges” or “trophies” I’ve earned for whatever challenges or accomplishments I’ve made. All it reminds me is that I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life pacing my living room or taking needless walks – that I could have used to clean out my closet, organize my pantry, or write the novel I still haven’t started.

See Fitbit for the past year I’ve had you – you have stolen my time, my energy and my sanity. Listen I know you mean well, but it just isn’t working anymore. I want my life back. I don’t want to feel tied to a machine to tell me that I’m healthy. I think I’ll lean on my doctor, my diet, and myself to get out and move. Because it’s a lot more fun to move when you aren’t a slave to a device. I really wish you the best Fitbit. I hear you have made improvements and maybe one day you will work more efficiently. However, I’m going to go back to using both hands to push my carts, push my strollers and push the lawn mower. I’m not going to worry if I’ve “stepped” enough – when I’m chasing around my 3 year old. I’m going to spend my time being ok – ok like I was before I met you. See that’s the biggest issue in all of this, Fitbit. I was always an active person. I was always happy and wanted to go out and do activities. Now you make it a chore. I am going back to being the person that WANTS to be active and not forced to be active.

Fitbit, I’m sure you are good for some people – but it’s not me – it’s you. You aren’t working for me. I’m going to tossing you. I wish you the best in the future. I know I’ll be better off without you!

 

 

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